Did you watch the Golden Globes on Sunday? We watched most of the show, enough to know I am completely out of touch with popular culture, have not seen any of the nominated films and practically none of the television either. (Except Downton Abbey, but who doesn’t watch Downton Abbey??) Anyway, one of the many shows I’m out of touch with is Homeland whose lead actor Claire Danes won a Golden Globe this weekend. Here’s Claire accepting her award.
For those also as out of touch with popular culture as I am, you may not have known that Claire had a baby recently. December 17 recently. You may recall that I had a baby on December 27. For those wondering, I am not 10 days away from looking like Claire Danes.
Clearly, I shouldn’t be comparing myself to Claire Danes – we definitely didn’t look alike (or have similar body types) before either of us became pregnant. I’m sure I’m eating more Top Pot donuts and fast food since giving birth than she has been. As one friend pointed out, imagine the pressure she had to squeeze into these dresses for awards season so close to giving birth. I get it, we are very different people with different lifestyles, etc. But it still made me feel better flabby and gross.
I wished I had kept a diary when I was pregnant with LC so that I could better compare this pregnancy (and its aftermath) to it. I can’t remember how long I felt blah and out of shape after LC but I feel like it is lasting longer this time. Which is probably being a little hard on myself since Lucy isn’t even 3 weeks old yet, so to say that it is “lasting longer” suggests that I was cool and over postpartum stuff in about 2 weeks. Which I’m sure I wasn’t. I think this time I jumped back into “life” a lot faster than I did with LC. Arriving home to a two year old pretty much guarantees that you don’t have time to lounge, or nap or really do much of anything other than keep the house running for two kids, a dog and a cat. A went away on a week long business trip 10 days after Lucy was born, really thrusting me back into the solo running of the house (though with much grandparent help). So I guess my life feels a lot less “postpartum” than it did with LC, despite my inability to wear anything but nursing tank tops and yoga pants. (My maternity pants are too big, my non-maternity pants too small. BLERGH.)
I know I need to cut myself some slack – being a new mom, even the second time around, isn’t easy. I’m tackling large to do lists every day and getting everyone out the door to work, day care, doctor’s appointments, etc almost on time. I wish the gross pudginess around my middle would magically disappear or that I would feel less blah every time I look in the mirror, but I think we all know that these are not the only ways that Claire Danes’ life and mine differ. In time, in my lifestyle, I’ll be able to get back to my clothes, my routine (which involves less McDonald’s milkshakes) and hopefully feel more like myself – and worry less about feeling like Claire Danes.