Do Overs

Tonight I was ready to write a post about how great this week of solo parenting had been going.  How we had it under control.  How I was the picture of working mother balanced with solo parent duties perfected.  And then today happened.  Lucy didn’t want to eat on schedule.  Work was a day filled with too many things added to the to do list and not enough time to do any of them.  (Did I mention I fell down in front of a twenty person staff meeting while trying to “sneak” away to the bathroom?  No?  Well that happened too.)  No time to pump, so not enough milk.  The bridge was up when I was already running late to the pediatrician’s appointment.  Lila didn’t nap at school so, well that was a two year old without a nap.

Tonight was not my finest parenting hour as I dealt with hungry children, fussy cats, potty training trials, smelly trash cans and toddler melt downs.  In the end I just had to put Lila to bed as she melted down.  No bedtime routine was soothing her and honestly?  I just couldn’t deal anymore.  I needed her to be asleep.  So I did that.  I tucked her in, I told her I loved her and that she would feel better in the morning and left the room.

It wasn’t my finest parenting hour but no child was injured.  I didn’t hit anyone (or any pets).  I didn’t drive the children while drunk. (Or get drunk at all, even if I really just wanted a very large glass of beer.)  I made a semi-nutritious dinner (which may have been rejected by a toddler).  I washed the bottles for tomorrow.

It wasn’t my finest parenting hour, but tomorrow I will get to try again.  Try again to have more patience.  Try again to cross things off my list.  Try again to write a blog post on our successes this week.  Try again to stay on schedule.  Try again to show the girls how much I love them.  And for tonight, the ability to be able to try again tomorrow is one of the few comforts I have.  (That and American Idol.  Long live Idol.)

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